backpacking solo

My backpacking trip was the most awesome trip I have ever taken, although the first time I kayaked at Isle Royale is pretty high on the list, too. Anyway, what a great time. I spent the first night with my ranger friends Dawn and Marshall, and their swell kids Forest and Cole. It was great. They fed me huge amounts of homemade pizza. I was wishing I had some of that later in the trip!

Going solo is an experience that I think everyone should have, especially women. Most of the women I met said that they wanted to go solo but were afraid to. There was something so very empowering about having to be completely responsible for myself, and not just in an "I don't really know what I'm doing won't someone help me" kind of way. Going solo, for me, meant that I could listen totally to me. I stopped when I wanted to stop, ate when I wanted to eat, slept when I wanted to sleep. I realized that I was actually listening to my body as I hiked. I could adjust my pack in response to a tired back or shoulders, and I know that I didn't do any of this kind of listening when I was there with someone else. Then, I was more worried about whether I was talking too much, going to slow, needing/wanting to stop too much, having bad breath, being boring and what not. I began to realize that my whole life has been centered around listening and worrying/thinking about others. About what others think of me and how they perceive me.

It's all a bunch of bull, actually. Why don't we hear our own voices as we move through the world? Why do we listen for other voices before respecting and responding to our own? When I do listen, I know that I am happier, and, as a result, my kids are happier, too. It's a bit ironic. What most would consider selfishness actually leads to a happiness that spreads far out beyond ourselves. I'm grateful for the experience of hearing myself so loudly. I think if I take these kinds of trips regularly, my voice won't fade into the shadows as it has in the past.

It's a very cool thing.

But I did run out of food. Well, out of carbs. I only had 2 packages of tuna left. When I realized I was running out, I did a 17 mile hike one day so that I could make it back to Dawn and Marshall's the next day (I think a 7 or so mile hike.) Dawn thought I'd be coming that day and made peanut butter cookies. I ate 6 in about as many minutes. Best cookies I've ever tasted.

What a great adventure. I can't wait to go back!!